9. Know all the answers on the test.

8. Never a stressful moment.

7. Practice pedagogy without fear of arrest.

6. Free apples!

5. Massive funding for classroom supplies.

4. Joyfully implement wise policies of marvelous administrators, earning thanks of a grateful nation.

3. Discipline tomorrow's U.S. leaders today.

2. Spend leisurely summer in intensive therapy attempting to recover strength for new term.

1. Might have to work for a living otherwise.