No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing
impaired."
You don't have detention, you're just one of
the"exit delayed."
Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage
restrictive.
These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically
declined."
Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's
just "closure prohibitive."
Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely
hit "social speed bumps."
Your homework isn't missing, its just having
an "out-of-notebook experience."
You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing
consciousness."
You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled
arrival time."
You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering
from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-rententive
athletic footwear."
No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."
You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly
verbal."
You weren't passing notes in class. You were
"participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
You're not being sent to the principals office.
You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."
It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy
transmission of near-factual information."
The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.
It's "digestively challenged."
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